Wednesday 8 April 2009

Squishy Shoes

I have a problem. One that I'm embarrassed to admit, but it's time I finally came out with it.

My right shoe makes a squishy noise when I walk.

I have no idea why, they're not damp, my feet aren't excessively sweaty, and yet this shoe squishes day in and day out, hour after hour, rain or shine.

Overall, I'm pleased with overall performance of my shoes. But the squishy noise would have been a deal breaker had I known about it. They were an $80 pair from Aldo's, and look similar to this style:

Except that the dark leather parts are white, and there are four stripes. On the topic of stripes on my shoes, I like there to be four stripes. Three is acceptable, but four is best. It's a nice even number, and the first non-prime number. Ever since about grade nine I've had a fixation with having shoes that resemble bowling shoes. I guess I'm just a stripey shoe person. But then all the other kids jumped on the bandwagon and suddenly my shoes were everywhere. I hate it when that happens.

Anyway, all my shoes have had some sort of noise problem ever since grade 9. My first pair of Stripers (that's what I'm going to call the design) made this weird rubber squeeking sound. Sort of like when you bend and curl one of those balloon animal balloons, but it only happened when I walked on ceramic tiles, which unfortunately was an entire wing of my school, so everyone could hear me squeeking down the hallways.

My second pair were too big because I got them expecting my feet to grow some more but they never did. So I ended up having shoes that curled up a little at the end and squeeked not when I walked on ceramics, but rather, smooth cement. This was unfortunately the entire mainstreet of my hometown. So once more everyone could hear me squeeking along mainstreet.

Then that second pair got some dog crap on it and the smell never really came out. I was in college at this time and so I went home and got my old pair of stripers for a while. Somewhere inbetween I managed to find a new pair almost identical to the dog crap ones. I quickly purchased them, nobody noticed the transition.

That last paragraph was confusing, I know. But anyway, The third pair squeeked whenever I walked on smooth floors. Which was, once again unfortunately, MY ENTIRE COLLEGE. The nights when I was staying late working on editing projects I would saunter through the halls hearing my footsteps echoing off the walls. But at least a lot of classrooms I was in had carpeting, so I didn't squeek absolutely everywhere.

Then I bought the pair I have now. I've worn them for almost a year now. Like I said, I'm pretty satisfied with their performance. The rubber grippy things on the back wore out pretty quick, but I was putting about 5 miles a day on these shoes when I first got them, and they were just meant to be casual shoes for men with better fashion sense than me to strike poses with an indifferent look on their face in, so that's to be expected.

The leather has held up really well, and I've gotten these things SOAKED before. They're getting a bit grungy, but they're not bad. I'm actually enjoying the loff of the worn leather.

But I really dislike this strange squishing noise it makes. Since day 1 they've been squishing. I don't know if everyone can hear it, or if it's just me. I've lifted the sole to take a peek, and there's nothing there, and the leather and rubber is sealed pretty good, so I don't know where the squish is coming from! Worst of all, it does it everywhere I walk, not just on ceramics or cements, but EVERYWHERE. I notice it more on carpet, but it still squishes everywhere else.

Anyway, if there's any shoe experts, please tell me, why does my shoe squish?

4 comments:

Jana Sproule IMA said...

Sometimes my shoes make noises too. I find if I walk a certain way I can avoid the noises. However, people still look at me because I'm walking funny. Sometimes shoes just squeak or squish. Perhaps it's a curse of the Stripers.

Just be happy that your shoes do not generate absurd amounts of static electricity. That is much worse. And painful.

drollgirl said...

it's like the heart beating in edgar alan poe's the telltale heart.

i have some squeakers too, but they are too cute to get rid of.

Chelsea Ribbon said...

I have to say I never noticed your shoes squeak during college... except for sometimes when we walked through the school when it was abandoned. During the day there was too much noise to hear I think.

Firstly, I think all stripey shoes most likely squeak. All the evidence is there.

Secondly, you are a man and that makes it your fault your shoes squeak. You should have done a squeak test in the store before buying them. You seem to have failed to do this for a decade!

Thirdly, I've been doing some research on your behalf and have come to conclusion that if you lather up the bottom of your shoe with some simple hand lotion, the squeaking should stop. You have to get it into every crevice and crack though! And be generous with the lotion too!

Obviously the bottom of your shoes should be dry before doing this. Also, after lathering them up, don't wear them right away; let them dry.

Another thing I've found is if you put a shit ton of lotion on your feet and then put your shoes on (no socks), this may also help the squeaking.

Chelsea Ribbon said...

LMFAO okay whoops I gave some bad advice to you... here's what I found:

RE: Fix a Squeaky Shoe
Post By shoeless (Guest Post) (03/19/2007)

I tried petroleum jelly and fell down the steps and broke my leg. Thanks alot to all who recommended that cool fix.

Editor's Note: I hope that this isn't true but if it is, I'm sorry you are hurt. The petroleum jelly does NOT go on the sole of the shoe.


LMFAO!!!! So yeah DON'T put the lotion on the sole of the shoe. I guess you're supposed to be putting it on the INSIDE of your shoe. Too funny.

Also, some people of stated that using baby powder on the inside of their has helped stop the squeaking, like putting it under the insole.