Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Sunburnt and Burnt-Out

I'm back from holidays! I went to Las Vegas (my first time ever) with a whole bunch of friends for a wedding.

And while we were there we took in lots of sites, did some shopping and drank a lot. The highlights of the trip, aside from a spur of the moment marriage (pictures below), included Madame Tussade's wax museum where I got to flip off Cris Angel and Bono...

seeing all the boobies all over Caeser's Palace...

and getting my picture taken with lots of random people and things...

But nothing beat a reception from the 27th floor of the MGM Hotel after the beautiful wedding of some very good friends, a great meal, and lots of partying.

As for me, the best souvenir I brought back was a wife.

My girlfriend and I went down to Vegas, and I happened to do extremely well at Blackjack, beginner's luck I suppose, and with that money we got an express marriage license, and three hours later after a cheap-o ceremony at our hotel (couldn't afford a professional photographer) we were married. The papers clear in two weeks and I'll be a for-real married man in Canada.

The honeymoon is in February in Orlando if you were wondering.

Kid Adrift - Oxycotin

Monday, 19 July 2010

Hammelltime On Vacation

I'm going on holiday this week, and as such will also be on vacation til next Wednesday. In the meantime, enjoy the debut installment of the most awful ad campaign probably ever.

If you're interested, I recommend watching this before Quizno's realizes that they've given birth to a monster and pull the spot from Youtube.

This transcends awful and has actually managed to create a new dimension of terrible. I like cats, but never before have I wanted to strangle kittens until I saw this steaming pile.

See you next week!

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Review: Predators

Predators is the latest offering in the saga of the galaxy's most ruthless hunters, 'The Predators.'

Right from the beginning, Predators kicks the action into high gear and doesn't stop. The main characters suddenly awake to find themselves falling from the sky with parachutes on, unaware of how they got there. A short touchdown, meet-and-greet, and violent clash later, the humans discover that they've been dropped on an alien hunting preserve from there is no escape.

I have to say that I went into this movie with pretty much no expectations. I'd heard mixed reviews that ultimately boiled down to one conclusion: Predators is the best predator movie since the original starring everyone's favourite Austrian, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I enjoyed most of the cast in this film too, with the exception of Adrien Brody.

Adrien plays the bad-ass survivalist who naturally takes lead of the party of mercenaries and criminals dropped on the planet. Adrien looks like he really toned up and got in wicked shape for this movie, but he did a ridiculous raspy voice throughout the whole thing. This role just wasn't meant for him.

Another character who I liked from the get-go was Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov), a soldier from eastern Europe with a giant minigun. Sweet! But what bothered me the whole movie is how he looks strikingly similar to former movie tough-guy Charles Bronson. Seriously. Look at them!

There were some pretty good action sequences, lots of guns and explosions, some light humour here and there, lots of beheading (like a good Predator movie should have), and really light story.

The movie was filled with cheesy lines, and it was quite simple in plot. But when you think about old Arnie movies, they were always light on story, heavy on action.

If there's one movie you should go see for the thrill of watching an action movie, go check out Predators.

Overall, I give Predators:


The Good: An enjoyable cast despite being a little undeveloped. Some characters certainly weren't used to their full potential.
It was a decent sci-fi action flick. Robert Rodriguez (of Desperado fame) wrote and produced this movie, so knowing that you can go in an expect to see a movie filled with every action cliché you've ever wanted.
For those who really like Sci-fi, you also get a little glimpse into the society and dynamics of Predator society.

The Bad: Adrien Brody just wasn't a fit for his role. He tried really hard to pull it off, but for an action hero, they could have done a much better casting job.
Also, the pace at which the characters figure everything out is pretty unbelievable. I know it's a movie about interstellar aliens who hunt humans for sport, but the humans seemed to get a grasp of their situation and formulate a plan at an unreasonably fast pace.

That's about it. It's not that original of a movie to warrant a higher score, but I enjoyed it thoroughly for it was: A fast paced, hard action flick with lots of guns, lots of Predators, and lots of cheesy lines.

Go see this if you want some quality blood and guts and a nice easy story.

Don't go see this if you're lame.

Against Me! - Don't Lose Touch

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Three dimensional bodies are overrated

My hometown is having a big homecoming event this weekend. Families from across Canada (and the US probably) who originally hail from Pierson, Manitoba are headed back for a town wide celebration.

I unfortunately can't make it, but I did my best to make up for, and got a life-sized stand-up made of myself.

So if anyone who reads this blog happens to be in Pierson for the homecoming, and you happen to see the 2D version of me with one of my chaperones, please stop for a photo!

For everyone else, you can order your own custom Jake Hammell stand-up for your next party or business function from your local print-shop. I'm sure they'll have a variety of poses and outfits to choose from.

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Kraft Dinner

I ate Kraft Dinner last night for the first time in months. I'd been intensely craving it for several weeks, and one day I saw this commercial below and I was done:

I had to have it. But it seems whenever I go to the grocery store I never bought it. I suppose that's not a bad thing considering that Karft Dinner is basically 30% salt, 60% starch, and the secret addictive ingredient, 10% orphan tears, but I pretty much grew up on it, and look where I am today!

Photo courtesy of Sherman Willis

Long uninteresting story short, it was delicious. I don't eat it much anymore simply because for the ten bucks a case costs I could be eating things that don't cause heart disease, but it's a little like having a hard-drug addiction where every now and then you get cravings that last for months on end.

So, does anyone else gets bizarre cravings (it might not even be for food) that have to be sated a quickly as possible?