Monday, 28 May 2012

The Coolest Thing I Ever Found...

Story time! So there’s this back alley that leads to the rear entrance of my office. It’s pretty gross since it doesn’t get cleaned and has a couple dumpsters from a restaurant/bar in it that stink all the time. Plus, there this dead pigeon that gets cannibalized by the other pigeons. All in all, pretty nasty.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago I was on my usual route to work, passing through this alley, and what do I see? A needle. An honest to goodness needle.

This isn’t the needle, but it looked like this one: Image from 

Growing up in a little farming town, one can be a little sheltered from these kinds of sights. But thanks to Concerned Children’s Advertisers, I was extremely well versed in how to handle the situation.

This commercial used to be on every morning during the before-school cartoons and made me think that people would stumble across needles EVERYWHERE.

As a 6 year old kid, I was fully prepared for the day when I’d be out on the playground at Pierson Elementary and BAM! I’d find some drug needles. I’d put my hands up and say “I got this.” We’d go find an adult, leave one of the tall kids to hang out with the needle, and solve the problem of dope fiends chasin’ the dragon in Pierson, Manitoba once and for all.

Unfortunately, my day never came. I spent the entirety of my youth in rural Manitoba without finding a SINGLE needle lying around. It turns out illegal intravenous drugs just weren’t a big problem in Pierson. Go figure!

Come to think of it, Concerned Children’s Advertisers pretty much warped the childhood of most 90s kids. So remember boys and girls, if you see a needle on the ground, don’t you put it in your mouth.

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Another Filler Day

It's been a spell since I last posted any of my recent ads, and seeing as I've been up to pretty much nothing lately, now is as good a time as any to do an updater.

Let me know what you think, what you like, what you hate, and any random compliments you may have to share with me:

First off:

Rook and Raven - How to Drink Whiskey

It was an okay script for a local pub. But the announcer who read it (Carly Meyers of X92.9 in Calgary) really made this one come to life. Wouldn't have even been close without her voice on this one.

Next up,

Kelray Automotive - K Team

These guys definitely like the more entertaining ads and are just totally cool dudes to write for. After I put this together, all they said was "Needs more helicopters." That's the kind of creative feedback i like!

And third:

Eden Flowers - Jealousy

Some of you may have heard this one, but I figured I'd give a bit of back-story. The part where the girl talks is unscripted. She's sharing an experience based on a true story; Hopefully her husband hears the ad and purchases her flowers.

And that's about it!

Monday, 7 May 2012

Hey you!

I don't have much to talk about today. So I'm just doing to come out and say something that's really been bothering me lately.

Dear, Ryan Gosling...stop being so damn cool.

  Even when you boot-stomped that guy's head to pieces in Drive you managed to look like a total badass. I don't really get the female appeal of Ryan Gosling. Maybe some ladies out there can explain it? However, in terms of general coolness, this guy's got it in spades.

In all seriousness, I watched Drive for the second time last night and I'm still blown away by how god-damn slick Ryan Gosling is in that movie. Go rent it if you haven't caught it yet!

That is all.

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Monopoly Is Missing Something

Last night I acquired a brand new copy of Classic Monopoly. None of that "Canadopoly," "Star Trekopoly," “Hammellopoly,” or various versions that are out there now. I’m talking good old fashioned, paper money, Monopoly.

 And yet, it didn’t seem quite right. Just take a look at that computer generated Monopoly Dude (Pennybags?). Plus, the cards are all wrong.

 Look at that “Get out of Jail Free” card! Just terrible, it’s like a bad piece of abstract art. On the other hand, the board is pretty much the same, it’s got all the same old pieces we’ve always had.

And get this! They've stopped giving you the option to pay a percentage of your income tax. When did that even happen? Now it's just a straight up $200 fee.

That's bubkis!  

One thing I enjoyed about this new edition is their instructions. It’s a well known fact that everyone plays with their own house rules and the Parker Brothers are sick of hearing your crap about how long a game of Monopoly takes.

 As it turns out, when you play by the actual rules a game of Monopoly only takes an hour or so, not 18 days. I won my first ever game of Monopoly on the inauguration of this new board. I’m pretty darn proud of that.

 My dear girlfriend completely dismantled and obliterated me on the next game though. Overall, I have to say it’s still fun, but it just didn’t feel as authentic as playing with that old board that belonged to your parents for years and years. A new board doesn’t have the blood, sweat, and broken childhood friendships that those old games have. Hopefully in time I can get in some vicious arguments and fights over it. Because in the end, that’s really what Monopoly is all about.