Monday, 29 November 2010

Gingerbread Competition 2010

My coworkers and I constructed another gingerbread house for a local Christmas show/fundraiser. Last year we learned quit a bit from our successes and failures from trying to build a stone church so this year's went slightly better.

We decided to scrap the idea of a gingerbread "house" and go for something completely different. After some humming a hawing, we settled upon the idea of a Lighthouse Keeper's Christmas, and here's the final result:

I forgot my camera so I don't have any other pictures from the Festival of Trees, but I'd say we were in the top half of gingerbread creations. You can't see it, but there's a little light in the top of the lighthouse that blinks so it actually looks like a lighthouse giving off a signal.

It's a little plain, but I figure it does the trick. There were lots of good ones this year, for example there was a castle, a mountainside ski lodge, an Eiffel Tower made of chocolate, and this insane fondant doghouse.

So I guess this means it's Christmas-time now! What kind of stuff are you doing to get ready for the holidays?

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Nothing to Talk About

Man, this blog thing is tough. It's been two years since I started blogging steadily, and I'm running out of subject material.

This week has been quite bland. I just have nothing to talk about. So you know what? It's time for The Highlights of My Week so Far:

Monday – Had a Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner. For those not in the know, Papa Murphys is a take'n'bake pizza joint. I didn't know this when I first went there. I ordered a large pepperoni pizza, and they handed me this raw pie. Being the totally passive person I am, I just accepted it. I imagined for a moment them saying “You want a cooked pizza? Too bad! Deal with this, fucker!” and then I'd hang my head and sadly say “Okay.”

But I then I figured out that uncooked pizza is what they sell, and everything turned out better when I got free cookie dough.

Tuesday: Wing night at The Basement! The Basement is my favourite place to go drinking. Lately my budget hasn't been as conducive to just sitting down there on a Friday night and drinking my way through three or four beer towers, but I still make it for wing nights occasionally. However, service is usually slow because the place is totally packed on Tuesdays. So we got some free shots! Yeah!
Then I was a little tipsy (actually, a lot) and the girlfriend and I went to her parent's house to play with their new puppy. I collected twenty dollars for Movember and ate some pickled herring. It was salty. End of story.

Wednesday: I saw the movie Secretariat last night. What can I say about it? It was a Disney movie about horse racing. I wasn't a big fan, but it wasn't the worst movie I've seen either.

And that leads us to today. Later I'm going on a booze run for my staff Christmas party, and after work I'm going to sit at home and watch Star Trek. Because that's what cool people do.

So...How has your week been?

Goldfinger - 99 Red Balloons

Friday, 19 November 2010

Movember Moustache...Mupdate?

Photos stolen courtesy of Tatiana and my Aunty Pat.

I lost a bet, and now I have to grow a moustache. I started it slightly before November 1st (cheating, I know) and now we're just over halfway through the month I figured it was time for an update on the situation at hand.

Now, before we get to the before and afters, I just want to make it clear that I'm an embarrassment to hairier folk of my family. My father for instance grows a full beard during winter so well formed that he often gets mistaken for Santa Clause by small children. No kidding, it seriously happens.

(this is the only bearded photo I could find)

And my older brother? I'm quite certain that when he sneezes hairs instantly sprout from his chin.

(The least blurry, hairiest photo I could find. I'm really missing the mark this week with photos.)

I used to have a good photo of him with a Ron Jeremy quality porn-stache, but I've since lost it. Trust me though, it was skeezy.

Now here's me unshaved:

And here's me with about three week's worth of growth:

Can you see it?

I grow the gingerest ginger hair that ever gingered on man's face; It's practically translucent. Anyway, I will admit that it's growing in better than I thought. It doesn't look like the pubescent caterpillar I was expecting to grow. Unfortunately though, as this is the first time I've ever attempted to groom facial hair, I keep shaving it crooked.

Anyway, only one a half weeks left!

For any other participants, let's see your stache

Gord Bamford - Day Job

Monday, 15 November 2010

What didn't sex ed teach you in school?

I was reading the forums on today, and came across this comment in reply to a question “What didn't sex ed teach you in school?”:

“I could label a vas deferens and urethra on a diagram of a penis, but they never actually said what the penis was for.”

Suddenly I was hit with a vivid memory of Sex Ed in grade 5.

Labeling the genitals.

We were given a quick test after learning all the different parts of both male and female reproductive organs; Label the major parts of a penis and a vagina on a diagram.

Me being the diligent student I was at that age, I could have labeled both diagrams %100 correct, but a terrible truth had popped in my head. I was dead-set convinced that if I got all answers right on the female diagram, everyone would think I was a pervert. But on the opposite hand, if I got all the questions right on the penis everyone would naturally assume I was gayer than Elton John.

So, stuck between a rock and a hard place, I came up with a genius solution only a ten year old could think of (Before you ask, it wasn't to label both diagrams %100 correct).

I scribbled down my answers whilst glancing to and fro to make sure nobody was looking my way or stealing my idea. I strode up to the front of the class, handed my paper in as if I were presenting the teacher with the map to El Dorado itself, and smugly took my seat. She quickly marked each test, and passed them back.

When the results came back, I had scored %55 correct on male genitals, %55 on the female genitals.

High enough to pass, to not look like a perv, and to not look gay. Thinking back on it though, it's a good thing I didn't know about bisexuality in grade 5. Think of the rumors that one might have started!

Friday, 5 November 2010

The Most Hurtful Fax

This was a reply fax sent to me after I was having trouble sending a fax. When I received it a little piece of me died...

She must have forgot the word "Having" in there, right?


*single tear*

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Review: Flipped


Directed by Rob Reiner

Flipped follows the lives of two kids in the late 1950s. A girl who instantly falls in love with the new boy who's moved in across the street from her, and the new boy who is quite annoyed by the advances of this young lass. As they grow up, their feelings and relationship change, blah blah blah, you get the gist.

I totally did not have expectations of what this film was going to be about. I'd heard of it in passing, never seen a preview, and by reading it's synopsis I assumed it was a chick flick. But, since the bowling alley was %100 packed last night, I opted for a date-night featuring a movie instead.

Coming out of the theatre, I was blown away. This was an excellent film! I got completely sucked in by the multitude of characters, the cinematography was so rich and bright, the story was equal parts funny and compelling, and it was just an excellent movie.

It's unique feature is that it flips first person perspective throughout the film. So you hear the lead male's point of view about what he thinks of this creepy stalker neighbor girl, and then the same story is retold but from the little girl's perspective. It was great! And so well written too. Fifty years difference or not, this movie goes to show that pubescent kids really do think the same way now as they did then.

Overall I give Flipped:


The Pros: It was funny, it looked great, the dialogue was memorable, and it's unique approach to storytelling was a totally fresh perspective.

The Cons: Flipped didn't waste a lot of time at any point in the movie except for one small portion in the middle. Although I praise this movie for it's quick paced plot, I also have to take half a point away from it for the ending. While it was quite good, I felt that resolution was too quick/inconsistent with the tone of the last ten minutes or so of the movie.

This is a movie anyone aged 12 and up would really enjoy. It definitely hasn't gotten enough press or mention (that I've seen). If you're looking for a good way to spend an evening, go sit your rear end in the theatre and see Flipped.