More Treasures

As you may recall from an earlier blog, I talked about how I find things all the time lying on the ground. Last time it was a giant wad of bubblegum as large as a man's head I tell you!

Well, about a month ago I discovered a much tastier morsel on the ground.

It was just after noon, sun shining brightly in the sky, a fine fall day by any account. The skies were clear for the first time in weeks, Though everyone still wore sweaters to keep the slight breeze from giving you a chill, the warmth felt refreshing.

I stepped outside, and there, in the middle of the street, nary a soul in sight to claim it, lay a single strip of Jack Link's Original Beef Steak.


Its packaging was a little dirty, suggesting it had lain in the street most of the morning, possibly through the night, but remained sealed. Someone without keen scavenger eyesight as I possess probably would have spotted it lying there and mistook it for refuse.

But I, being a natural “Indiana Jones” of sort, saw that 'refuse' and discovered treasure.

I picked it up and looked to my left...

All clear.

To my right?

All clear.

The beef jerky was mine.

But did I dare eat it? On closer inspection, the jerky was still hermetically sealed. The expiration date was months away. With careful unwrapping I wouldn't even get any dirt from the external packaging on it! Just as I was about to tear into it, I stopped for a moment to consider that perhaps this was a clever trap.

As anyone should know, Beef Jerky makes perfect Jake Hammell bait. It's practically irresistible!

Assured that the possibilities of the jerky being a trap were too great to ignore I placed it aside, and left it.

A day later, the jerky was gone. Vanished. Wrapper and all.

While I can't confirm my theory, I'm quite certain it was some sort of teleportation device, laid to capture an unsuspecting person. More than likely laid there by the Jack Link's Sasquatch himself.


Pretty clever if you ask me.

Or maybe the shirtless from down the street whose redneck parents insist upon barbecueing on their car's hood found it and ate it.

Either way, we'll never know.

Edit: According to a reader, the beef jerky was spotted first by Jen Baron, and not myself. Upon reflection, this is probably true. So finder's rights do not go to myself. However, I was the one to pick it up and take a good look at it.

The Kills - Tape Song