The Stinky Kid

Things have been quite busy here at work these past couple weeks, mainly because important people are coming by for a visit. These are the people who own and operate the Jim Pattison Media Group. The big man himself Jim Pattison, owner of a billion dollar business group, is stopping in for a visit.

So we all have to wear our Sunday-Best, and look sharp since there's a lot of handshaking to be done. However, I'm pretty bad at remembering to do laundry, and I completely forgot to wash my pants last night.

This morning I pawed through my pile of clothes and found some jeans that I figured would pass for clean, threw on an un-ironed dress shirt, knotted a tie around my neck, and took off to work.

However, last week I was at the local recycling depot and left it smelling like stale liquor and flat soda (this is also what college smells like). I smelt like that all afternoon and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm wearing the exact same pants as last Tuesday. Every now and then I get a phantom whiff of something that doesn't smell pleasant, and I'm not totally sure if it's me, or just my brain being paranoid.

I asked a coworker if I was the stinky kid today, and she said that she didn't notice anything. But then she dropped off this sticky note in my office that proceeded to crush my self-esteem.

If you'll notice on that image, she checked off the “Something Smells” and “Everybody Knows” boxes. But underneath, she didn't mark off “I wouldn't tell you unless I truly cared.” So at least she's just being honest, and not trying to let me down easy about being the Stinky Kid.

It's noon now, and nobody else has said anything. So I'm just going to ride this wave of politeness all the way to quitting time. Hopefully nobody else calls me out, or might have to start grooming myself better.

Or not. I'll assume that Jim Pattison has met his share of stinky kids, and one more isn't going to upset him all that much.