Inapproptiate Background Chatter

I'm going to Mexico next Wednesday, and when you travel south of the border, there's apparently a lot of horrible diseases you have to deal with.

I needed to go get some shots, and as I discovered, everyone my age from other provinces has been vaccinated for hepatitis. People from Manitoba? Apparently not. I guess health standards are so high in the Keystone province we don't have to deal with those diseases people from the other western provinces of BC and Alberta are prone to catching. I can't tell you if Saskatchewan vaccinated against Hep A or B back I was younger. Maybe someone reading this can inform us all.

Anyway, last night I was at the bar enjoying wing-night with a large group of friends when I received a call from the Health Nurse. She'd given me my Heb A injection just a couple weeks ago, and sent a request to Manitoba for my health records, since she found it odd that I wouldn't have all the same vaccinations as everyone else.

“Hello Jacob? This is Lisa. We got your health records from Manitoba..." She informed me, "It confirms that you didn't have any hepatitis vaccinations.”

“Is that so?" I replied "I figured as much. Nobody I talked to from back home said that they had theirs either.”

By this point, everyone I was sitting with had figured out I was talking to health nurse, and began shouting “Jake has AIDS!” and “Jake has herpes!” On top of that, the loudest song in the world started playing.

I'll you this, it is really hard to have serious conversation with a health professional when people are screaming about various sexually transmitted infections that you may or may not have in the background, while Def Lepperd is blaring away at the same time.

I think she started to get a little irritated when she started explaining that I need to take serious precautions against coming in contact with any foreign bodily fluids, because I hard to cover mouth so she wouldn't hear me trying not to laugh as my girlfriend began to chant

“You have herpes! You have herpes!”

I think this is a little embellished, but that's what I'm pretty sure was happening.

She quickly wrapped things up, urged me to make an appointment right away, and told me to be careful in Mexico. She's a really cool health nurse! When I got my shot, she gave me a Spiderman sticker.

So, just so everyone knows, if you're from Manitoba, and born after 1988, you might not have any vaccinations against horrible diseases. Oh, and there's a worldwide shortage of hepatitis vaccine, and supplies could be critically short by October. So...maybe look into getting some shots.

And for the record, I do not have AIDS.

The herpes test is pending.

Paper Lions - Traveling