Monday 12 September 2011

Vapid Photos

I’ll preface this by saying I apologize in advance if I offend anyone in the following post.
I was talking to my sister yesterday (it was her birthday) and somehow we got onto the topic of pictures we thought were stupid. It brought forth my confession that I have absolutely no love for those pictures people post of themselves where the colour cast is changed, duckfaces are put on, they photoshop themselves, and throw some words at it.

Maybe it’s a deep expression of themselves, I don’t know. I think it’s quite vapid, and where do people come up with these quotes anyhow?

So my sister said I should “Totally do that” when I got home from work. I haven’t used Photoshop in a couple of years, but I used to be pretty good at it so I figured it would be a piece of cake! I’d have a couple photos done in 20 minutes, no problem!

Well, an hour later, this is what I’d cooked up:
Boom! Check out that sweet tan I got this weekend! I bet you can’t even tell I put a little bit more colour on myself.

Secondly, to prove how easy it is to make up some shit and make a photo seem deep and full of expression using some stupid fonts and colours, I made this:


Shakespeare wishes he could write like me! I’m quite tortured inside, can’t you tell by my blank expression?


Anyway, it’s pretty obvious that I just don’t “get” what the kids are doing when they make these pictures. I’m sure it’s just something that they laugh about to each other, but from the outside, I percieve the same way as when I watch some kid walk around with his pants hanging so low you might be able to see his ass if he wasn’t wearing a Magic jersey.

Can you believe I turn 23 today and I’m already ranting like an Old Man?

2 comments:

John said...

Just remember, youngster. I'm Old Man Hammell, and don't you forget it.

Chelsea Ribbon said...

OMG! Sooooo frickin hilarious!!! That poem was epic and your face was perfect!