The Secret of the Jetsons

The Jetsons are a beloved part of Hanna Barbara's animation history. Starring a family from the future dealing with their futuristic triumphs and tribulations set in the year 2062.

Pretty innocent stuff right?
Wrong!

Last weekend for some reason the subject of The Jetsons came up. After a quick read of the character's biographies, a horrible truth started to emerge.

GEORGE JETSON IS AN IRRESPONSIBLE, CRADLE-ROBBING, S-O-B.

Am I being too harsh? Not at all. You know how old George is? 40.

You know how old his wife Jane is? 33.

That's an age difference of seven years. That's not unheard of, and I'm sure we can all think of examples of people in relationships we know of who are this far apart.

But hold up just a minute. They have a daughter; Judy. Judy is a flirty fashionista, who loves to party. How old is she? 16.
That means Jane was only 17, possibly even 16 when George knocked her up. And how old was George Jetson when all this went down? Twenty Four.

What is this twenty four year old man doing fooling around with this young woman? This was normal a few decades ago, and even flies today. But in the future, 34 years from now when this will happen, I'm not quite sure that would be approved of. If the average age women have kids at continues to climb, the first time a woman will pop her first baby by the time she's 30. George will be branded a filthy young man by his futuristic society.

And those two should definitely have known better than to engage in unprotected sex. Have you seen the show intro? Jane grab's George's wallet straight from his hands to go shopping.
She's used to the finer things in life, It's obvious she's no trailer-trash bumpkin who was brought up thinking that condoms were greasy funny-shaped balloons.

And George? He was 24 when this happened! He should know better. Space condoms can easily be purchased at the Space-7/11 or Astro-Macs.
And on top of that, with all the methods of birth control we have now, in future there must be some kind better, and easier, options!

Oh, and let's not forget Rosie the robot. She's 45 years old (meaning in six years she'll be built). She obviously grew up with either George or Jane. And she's so uptight! I can tell you this, no stereotypical Jewish house-keeper robot would have ANY of this going on in her house. So George probably wiped her memory, and poor Rosie thinks nothing of it all, having lost 20 years of her memories.

Mister Spacely has known George since he was a kid, so he's knows what's going on here. He knows EXACTLY what George did. It's no wonder he holds such contempt for that low-waisted, incompetent, ginger-headed nincompoop. Spacely probably just keeps him around because he knows nobody else would hire him, let alone keep on staff, if they should discover his past.

So the next time you're watching The Jetsons on Teletoon Retro, just keep in mind that this futuristic family has a lot more going on behind the scenes than you think. I've got my eye on you George, and so does Spacely. When you're born in ten years, I'll make it my mission to ensure that you don't take advantage of confused little Jane.

Unless of course, Jane was shooting laser holes through George's space-condoms to try and make him stay with her, and the whole thing was an “Accident.”

It could happen, people. Be aware.

All info is referenced from Wikipedia

Bruce Cockburn - If I Had A Rocket Launcher