High as a Caffeinated Kite

This morning I wasn't particularly tired but I was feeling quite adventurous. I've had a package of coffee from Australia in office that I forgot to try, so today was the day I decided to crack it open.


At first, this "Bangalow Coffee" was quite unassuming. It didn't smell particularly good, nor did it taste all that strong.

But now I'm high as a kite.

Those Aussies must put something in their coffee because I'm thrashed. Here's the cup-for-cup play by play of this whole morning:

Cup #1 – Bangalow Coffee
8:45AM: Drank a whole cup, felt fine.

9:15 AM: The tops of my eyeballs are buzzing. My coworker says I'm talking loudly.

9:30 AM: I have to control my volume. My peripheral vision is more colourful than normal. I have an insatiable urge to listen to hip-hop and dance music.

Cup #2 – Nabob
9:45AM: Tastes normal, little effect, my eyes are still buzzing and I feel tingly,

Cup #3 – Bangalow Coffee
10:00 AM: Tastes Great! Made a second pot with more grinds to add more flavour.

10:20 AM: My arms feel weird, my vision is still more colourful.

10:30 AM: I can't stop smiling! My face feels funny. Not like “Ha-ha” funny, just kind of numb.

Cup #4 – Bangalow Coffee
10: 50 AM: Tastes like regular coffee. I feel like swinging my arms around.

11:15 AM: I'M SO HUNGRY! I want to hug everyone and yell at them at the same time. I can't stop just looking around at stuff. The hallways seems confined yet vast.

11:20 AM: I'm tired now.

11:30 AM: I have a headache now. My teeth hurt.

11:35 AM: I pee for the 3rd time this morning.

11:40 AM: I can't type. I keep hitting three keys instead of one at a time.

And that's where I cut myself off. There's still another cup waiting for me, but my head hurts. I think I need to save this coffee for special occasions, because it's way too much for me handle.

Also, maybe I shouldn't drink about three quarters of a pot in one morning.

If I'm not careful, I'll be mainlining this stuff by Springtime. You can order yours here:

Bangalowcoffee.com.au

Apparently it's lower in caffeine. So it must be higher in meth content or something. Give it a try!


Fatboy Slim - Don't Let The Man Get You Down