Monday 26 October 2009

That Dude in the Bathroom

I hail from a pretty small town, one with not much in it. I went to college in a small city as well, and aside from a few minor culture changes, nothing about “City Livin'” really caught me off guard (except for when I got cable. Hells yeah!).

Since then, I've moved to Grande Prairie, and it's eerily similar to Brandon, Manitoba. Except for one thing:

The guys who stand in the bathroom


I think they're called Washroom Attendants. Grande Prairie is the first town I've met these guys in, and I've always found it pretty awkward to have this dude just standing there, watching you. After you finish your business he turns the taps on for you and gives you some paper towels.

I don't know if women's washrooms have attendants, but I do hear that some of the chick's bathrooms have couches. That's pretty cool, I'd trade an attendant for a couch any day.


Anyway - the assist with my paper-toweling - that's all good and fine, Then you get the whole “Want some cologne?” spiel.

No man, I don't want any cologne. Put that away right now!

Finally, I have to pay the guy! Pay him for something that I was going to fumble my way through anyway. It's not like the world would stop turning without this guy, so why should I pay him?

I haven't ever had to have someone attend to me in the bathroom, and I sure as heck don't need to start now. Especially since I only see these guys at the bar. But I let them do their thing, and I think they must make quite a cleaning. You could choke a horse with the sack of loonies, toonies, and fivers these guys have. When it comes to me and payment, more than likely I'll just give them five bones and count that as payment for the night. When I don't tip I feel immensely guilty.


I also have the same problem with buskers. I hate walking by them and trying to act like I'm not digging their music.

They probably don't care though, because I won't be the first guy to not tip, and I certainly won't be the last. Depending on the joint I'm carousing that evening, sometimes I feel for the guy.
To be honest, I drink in some real dives. The nicer establishments are where I feel less like tipping, the dumpier, the more I feel like paying. Basically their tip increases in correlation to their risk of getting stabbed.

Watching me take a leak and trying to drown me in cologne aside, there is one saving grace: The packs of gum.

I really like getting a pack of gum from these dudes, especially since I'm a beer drinker. Beer doesn't always leave the freshest of breath, so the gum is really appreciated, even if I did just buy it from a guy in a washroom.

I guess I'll just have to get used to the Washroom Attendants. But seeing some of the coin these guys get, I think I could stand to hang out in the men's room of some dive handing people paper towel.


And for the sake of gender equality I would install a couch.

5 comments:

Kristi said...

There was a female attendant in the womens bathroom at Shark Club Saturday night. Since when did peeing become a cash trransaction required event?? I never paid her. I took the paper towel and walked out.

Kirsty said...

Wow. This doesn't happen in Scotland. We get our own damn towels.
And I bet it makes using the condom machine pretty embarassing.

P.S Did you take that picture???

Maxwell ! said...

I dealt with the same thing in Calgary when I went out to the bars. The attendants in Calgary had a wide selection of condoms as well which was helpful on a few occasions. Other than that I found them thoroughly useless. I put on cologne before I come and I don't need to keep refreshing it. The gum was a nice touch.

Chelsea Ribbon said...

You only have to pay them if you take something from them that isn't normally already in a bathroom.

I never pay washroom attendants because they are supplying me with things that are already in the washroom (soap, toilet paper, paper towel) and it doesn't matter if they turn on the taps for you or even wipe your ass for you. You are not obligated to tip them.

However, the little dish of goodies set out on the counter, ie: lollipops, gum, condoms, tampons, perfume... those you have to pay for because the attendant brought those to sell to you.

Jake Hammell said...

I wish I'd have been the one who snapped that first photo! I didn't, but there's no better representation of a washroom attendant than that