What I Want to be When I Grow Up

Everyone as a child says they want to be something absurd when they grow up. Not many people do become what they want to be when they're only five years old. That, or they become something related to, but not quite exactly what they had imagined.

It's normal really. How many astronauts to we actually need? And how many cowboys can the average town actually suppourt?

I can quite clearly recall in grade 1 saying that I wanted to be a star.


Not the gaseous exploding type, although I'm sure that's a very steady line of work, I was referring to the celebrity type. I wasn't very specific though. At the age of five the line between actor and 'star' is very blurred.

What did a star do? Who did they work for? Why was the position so attractive? No idea. None whatsoever. But I knew I wanted to be a star.

The dream was quickly forgotten though as that same day I was stabbed in the face by the kid sitting next to me with a pencil. I had a blue dot smack dab in the middle of my forehead for the next eight years. It's still kind of there, and I'm still a little bitter about it.

Then around grade four I decided that I wanted to be a Marine Biologist. The pictures of crazy whacked out fish in National Geographic piqued my interest. And naturally, as a Marine Biologist it's your job to travel in submarines and look at cool fish for the betterment of society.

I was probably most interested by this because of a series of old comics (and by old I mean from 1986 or something) based on the toys 'Centurions.'


The comic came in a box along with lots of other old comics, which was by far the coolest thing my parents ever brought home from an auction sale. Except for that time my dad brought home a Motorhome and some church pews. But that's another story for another time.

There was one Centurion who was the underwater specialist (the guy in green, although I could have sworn he wore blue). He was a marine biologist and that was COOL!

I maintained for the next couple of years that I wanted to be a marine biologist. I think if you look in an old yearbook of mine it'll probably say that somewhere. I gave up on that dream too though when I figured out that ocean is TERRIFYING! It's huge! And it's filled those whacked-out fish from National Geographic. No thank-you Mr. Career Man, I will NOT be a marine biologist.

Flash forward to grade 9, and I'm taking online aptitude tests for my business skills class. I fill mine out and the top three results come back:

#1: Military Officer

I can deal with that. There's worse jobs.

#2: Cab Driver

That's lame. I don't wanna be a cab driver! I'm so bad at driving that I once damaged the car trying to back of the garage. As it turns out, backing out in a straight line isn't one of my strong suites.

#3: Pet Groomer

Now this is getting out of hand! I can barely keep myself clean let-alone someone's dog.

Now flash forward to grade 12, I'm filling out the form that lists my name, and what I plan on doing after graduation for the local paper. I think and ponder and question my life decisions.
" Geeze," I thought "What am I going to do?"
I quickly ruled out one option, " I don't want to say anything too grand and fail miserably," and continued that train of thought, excluding further options, "and I really don't want to be one of those guys who puts down "Enter the Workforce" either."
Time was running out. Everyone else was already starting to hand theirs in. "Better put down something practical."

Jake Hammell plans to...

Win the lottery

Sweet.

I'm still working on that dream. I've even prepared my rich guy outfit. The closest I've come to the goal though is that I used to read the lottery numbers out on the radio. I have yet to figure out how to buy a lottery ticket. But I'll get there some day!

So, what did you want to be when you grew up?