Thursday 26 March 2009

Horrible Dreams

I don't often have nightmares, and when I do they're usually pretty softcore. All the same though, they give me the jibblies.

Last night after eating four tacos and drinking a beer I had a couple awful dreams. I don't know if the two are connected but I felt that it was important to mention them.

I also watched America's Next Top Model with my various roommates, and some of the 'women' on that show are pretty nightmare worthy.

Anyway, here are the dreams that gave me the heebie jeebies:

#1 The Gilbert Gottfried Conundrum

I was sitting and watching television with two of my roommates. One, who is always on her laptop while watching TV, was sitting to me, and my sole male roommate Cale. Somehow I happened to be talking about Curly from the Three Stooges.

Cale didn't know who this was, and after I explained who it was to him to him he said, "Oh yeah, Gilbert Gottfried."

"Gilbert Gottfried?!" I exclaimed. "How can you think that Curly is Gilbert Gottfried? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"No, I'm pretty sure Curly is Gilbert Gottfried."

I got the girl sitting next to me to on the internet to prove Cale wrong. But she was having so much trouble with it! It took her like half an hour to dumbly click around Google. Finally I shouted at her to go Wikipedia, and I typed in 'The Three Stooges' myself, and showed Cale that he was wrong.

End of Nightmare.

That was pretty messed up. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day. The real horrible thing though is that in my dream state I was picturing a crossbreed between Gilbert Gottfried with Larry of the stooges for some reason. And Larry had nothing to do with the dream at all! That image is so disturbing I won't even try and photoshop something together.


It makes me feel all antsy. Like this:


#2 I've Got the Wrong Number!

This dream requires some preamble.

In Alberta, much like many other provinces and probably in the States too, you can no longer dial just seven numbers to call someone. The area code is included on all calls even in your local area. This is because people with Cell Phones are ruining it for people like me who want to live with nothing but a landline. (I do have a cell though. It makes me feel dirty.)

But being that I'm from Manitoba, I'm used to dialing only seven numbers for local calls. Only 15 people live in Manitoba, and around ten of them have their own personal numbers. The other five individuals are assorted roommates who share the phone. So punching in the extra three digits is unnecessary because there's plenty of unused numbers to go around.
In Alberta though it takes me several tries to call someone because I forget to dial the extra three numbers all the time.

Now, on to the dream.

I was back in Manitoba visiting my friends, and I was trying to call them up to party or something. I kept trying to call them over and over, but to no avail. The phoneline was dead. I tried some more but still nothing. Then I looked at the phone, I remember it looked exactly like this one:


but without the red light or piece of paper, and realized I was dialing '7-8-0', Alberta's area code, in front of the numbers I was trying to call! Of course it wasn't working! The solution was so obvious!

I dialed "1-780" and all was well. Even though that techically wouldn't have worked because that isn't Manitoba's area code, it turned out just fine.

I have no idea why but that one REALLY freaked me out.

So yeah, those were my nightmares. Really extreme stuff, right? Have you had any bizarre dreams lately?

6 comments:

Sweet Spectre said...

I wish my dreams were as mild as yours. Mine always end up with a loved one dying in a horrible way or all my teeth falling out, or something equally horrible.

Grammatically Delicious Designs said...

No dreams of late, but when I was young the town I now live in in northern ND used to have normal phone numbers, but to dial someone who lived in town, if you also lived in town, all you had to do was dial the last 4 digits. I long for those days!

Danielle

drollgirl said...

GILBERT GODFRIED?!?!?!? what in the world?!?!? how did you not strangle the person that actually thought this!??!?!? ADFA DF
AFD AD FA FDAGDFAF
A;FDJASFDA'
i have these kind of arguments with my boyfriend and with my bro-in-law. sometimes they are so off-base you think they are from another planet.
GILBERT GODFRIED?!?!?!?!? I AM DYING AT THAT!!!

Chelsea Ribbon said...

I've never had a dream about my teeth falling out.

To dream of teeth is a very complex dream! Teeth dreams are very bad dream to have. It usually entails death, sickness, and misfortune will follow you.

Dreaming of death is also very complex. It's normally a bad omen of unhappiness and displeasure to come, but many people misinterpret their dream. Many people think they are seeing their loved ones die in their dreams, when in reality it's just a warning for something completely different.

My friends used to get me analyze all their dreams because I was so into it! I still really am. I analyze my dreams all the time, but have never been able to keep a proper dream journal. It would take too long to document every morning, but I do see the benefit in doing so. After a while, you really start to see parallels to your life.

Chelsea Ribbon said...

I once had a dream about kittens and bunnies. Hundreds of them! They were all over my house and I couldn't seem to collect them all, but I didn't really feel the need to gather them anyway. I watched them run and hop and sleep and play together.

To dream of Kittens means I will endure small troubles and vexations, unless I kill the kittens which means I will overcome these worries. In my dream I never killed any kittens.

To dream of rabbits however, denotes a favourable turn in conditions to which I will be pleased with my gains. Also, it foretells children will contribute to my joys.

To this day, I can't figure out what these two conflicting messages meant at that time in my life. I can't even remember what I was doing at that time in my life!

Jake Hammell said...

The meaning behind the bunnies and kittens dream is quite obvious Chelsea. Me being a wise radio DJ and writer, I will quote Diana Ross. Who is the source of all modern knowledge.

"Take the bitter with the sweet."

Yup, that's what your dream meant. Children cause lots of little irritations and problem, but overall the experience and rewards from raised them, or being involved with them is something to focus on and draw strength.

Also, Grammatically, I wish I could get away with dialing four numbers! That would make writing commericals so much easier too!

"Call 42-42 for window service!" so much easier to say and remember.

I like to interpret dreams more literally and with less symbolism. I jsut don't buy that stuff because let's take for example a compass. As spinning compass might mean you're lost. A compass pointing at something would mean you're drawn, or have to find your way, or you know where you're going.

But what if you don't know anything about compasses? What if you've only seen one and never learned its function? That would mean nothing to either your conscious or subconscious mind.

I think if I were to interpret the phone dream it's saying that no matter how much living in Alberta changes me, I'll still be Manitoban at heart. That's my basic idea anyway