I'm a little suspicious today. I got to work a little later than usual (which is still a little earlier than I need to be) and since I got here I've been a lot of strange sideways glances. Then as I was fixing my morning 'Cuppa Joe,' as the hipsters would say, when the news guy burst into the coffee room and shouted “Hi Jake! How are ya?”
This isn't anything particularly strange, but usually between us it's just a head nod and nice:
“How are you?”
“Good, You?”
“Good.” sort of exchange.
Then as I left the coffee room one of the salespeople mumbled something about “Jake's birthday...”
It isn't my birthday for another four or five months. Something's fishy, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. I can't let my guard down for a single moment.
If you have any warnings for pranks to watch out for, they'd be much appreciated.
PS: By the way, I already checked my back for notes taped to it, and my chair has been surveyed for tacks.
EDIT, APRIL 29, 9:10PM: So nothing happened. I guess I was just in a suspicious mood this morning. I actually had a really productive day. But something else weird happened. I was in the washroom with my hands dripping wet from just having washed them, and I was struggling to open a package of new paper towels As I did battle with an easy-to-rip perforated edge (I managed to screw it up) that same news guy burst into the washroom, saw me, and quickly blurted "I'll be back!" and bustled back the way he came in the span of like 2 seconds.
Perhaps the reason I was so up in arms all day was because the news guy just decided to play mind-fuck games with me all day.
Well, It worked, he got me good!
5 comments:
I've done no harm, I keep to myself,
There's nothing wrong with my state of mental health.
Men At Work - "Who Can It Be Now"
CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
it is web cam time in yer office. must figure this out.
I would think, judging by your most recent pictures, your co-workers are planning to have a spoof 18th birthday for you. That is my guess
Fuck you Maxwell.
Just kidding! In all truthiness, I quit growing older a while ago. I decided it wasn't very becoming of me
I read this over a few times because I couldn't get over how much you sounded like Johnathan. He's the suspicious super president of the world. I can't look at him without him saying, "What!?" or "You look like you're schemeing."
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