Dream Festival

So, let's say you can put together an entertainment festival and have whoever you want to be there. The rules are this:

-The people you have perform or appear must be alive. Elvis cannot come, neither can Audrey Hepburn or Buddy Holly. I guess if you wanted to you could set up a tent with mummified corpse of some celebrity. That's pretty god-damn weird, but hey, it's your festival.

- If you want a band to reunite for a big show, that's fine. Feel free get ABBA back together. But if the band has any dead members, they obviously won't be present. So forget about getting the original Sublime or Queen to perform.

-You can have anyone, from a band, to a comedian, to whatever you want, to perform. Heck, you could have three days of straight Cirque De Soleil if you wanted.

-This is a three day festival, so do whatever you want. Just a music festival? Fine. Just a motorbike show? That's fine too.

-You have to give your festival a location and a name.

Here's how my festival would go:

It would be the...

Hammelltime And More Festival

Which would be abbreviated and called HAM-Fest. It would be a music, comedy, and beer festival. It would run during the first weekend in August near Winnipeg, Manitoba. I figure if I put it there it'll draw more people from across Canada, and still be in a good spot for Americans who'd like to make the drive or the flight.

It's also an all-ages event, but all youth must have supervision at all time. Anyone who looks young and is caught without a parent or gaurdian will be put aside and kept in a safe place. All parents who bring kids in will be tagged so that if you're found shirking your parental duties or the little snot ran away HAM-Fest security will find you.

Ages 16 & up can carouse the festival freely, but anyone under age caught on drugs or drinking will be kicked out. I'll be damned if HAM-Fest get's shut down because of underage drinking.

Anyway!

Throughout the three days it would run, in the central area there would be a big tent for teh beer gardens and where smaller bands would play. There would also be several smaller tents, and all day every day there'd be Canadian Beer tasting. Moosehead Lager would be HAM-Fest's primary sponsor.

Day one for music and entertainment would be strictly Canadian content. Jian Ghomeshi from CBC Radio's Q would do a live broadcast with lots of guests (He has eyes like an Arabian Prince, so he will attract many women to the festival)
I'm not sure what guests he'd have for his show, but this would be a show where he has lots of TV and Movie celebs on. There'd sure be some good'uns.

The bands and musicians you'd see that day and night would be:
- Sam Roberts
- Joel Plaskett
- The New Pornographers
- Barenaked Ladies
- The Tragically Hip
- The Headstones

Throughout the day for Comedians you'd get to see be Brent Butt, Dave Thomas, a live taping of the CBC show 'The Debators,' and much much more.

Day two would have a giant national lacrosse tournament.
There would be about four fields of play all going at once so the tournament could get finished up before the big bands got going, and in case you've never seen a lacrosse game, trust me when I say it's wild. It will definitely be a highlight of the HAM Fest, and the temporary stadiums we'd have up would be packed.

Get your seats early!

Day two would be lots of classic rock, to match the theme of Rock'em Sock'em Lacrosse

The bands and artists that would play would be:

- Def Lepperd
- Guns N' Roses
- Journey
- Phish (They're sort of classic rock)
- Heart
- Motorhead
- Judas Priest
- Steppenwolf
- Kansas

And that's about it for day two

Day 3:

HAM-Fest BMX and Skateboard competition.

All the kids are big into that stuff, so we'd have a great big BMX run and a skate park. There'd be lots of "Gnarly Crashes" and "Grinding" done here. Big names at the event would be:

- Tony Hawk
- Corey Bohan
- Tim Wood
- Shaun White
- Anthony Shetler

There would be many than this, but those are the only ones I know offhand.

The last day would be one for the punk and alternative crowd. You would be treated to bands like:

- Dropkick Murphies
- Against Me!
- Reel Big Fish
- CAKE
- Eve 6
- Everclear

And then that's it! HAM-Fest is over. Rioting ensues.

Minor details include that throughout the festival there would be a lot of ham products available for everyone and lots of smaller bands would be there too.

The Future of HAM-Fest:
Despite wild success and huge profits, there would be no further HAM-Fests. People felt that the first one was so good it would prove impossible to top HAM-Fest 1. That was until the year 2061, when HAM-Fest in Outerspace was held. The mosh pits were so huge they destroyed three space stations and a small moon orbiting Saturn.

So, your three day festival, what events and performances would you have?