I. Love. Drama.

EDIT JUNE 9, 2009: I buried this hatchet quite some time ago, and have since realized I was pretty hot-headed about the following post when I put it up. I've since realized that the certain girl who got me all worked up is a pleasant and delightful young lady.

But I decided to leave this up because it's pretty funny. So Roommate #1, if you're reading this, it may be embarrassing, but you were comedic GOLD!


Everything you read here is based on a true story. I wish I'd have had a tape recorder out at the time because the whole event was priceless, but I don't remember exactly what was said. All dialogue is pretty close to the actual event though.

Last night the entire household EXPLODED with drama. Confrontations that had been simmering suddenly blew the lid right off the pot all at once. Let it be stated that I love these kinds of confrontations. Not the "oh my god, Billy is dating Tanya" type drama that happens in Degrassi, I mean the real life stuff off of reality television. I don't watch reality TV much though, because I'd rather be embroiled in the issues first-hand.

So here's the people involved:

I live with four ladies and a dude. I will specify them by numbers:

One: A bible thumping Prima Donna with a bible thumping boyfriend. The boyfriend's name is "N."
I realized this morning that she isn't passive-aggressive like I previously thought. I'm the one who's passive aggressive, she's just a repressed bitch.

Two: A young lady with some of the same nursing courses at college as the Bible thumper. She's a very fun young lass.

Three: A girl from Dawson Creek (yeah, a town with that name actually exists), she's awesome. I have the best time playing Playstation with her. We generally get along quite well.

Four: Dates the only other guy currently living with us. She's very sweet, and I enjoy watching The Gameshow Network with her.

Five: The only other guy living in this household. His name is Cale. He and I see eye to eye on most issues.

Various houseguests: There was four of them, but only two really matter. One I will call W because he is from Winnipeg, and the other I will call S, because his name starts with that letter. S actually lived in the same house with all these people before I did, and moved out sometime before I got there. He will be moving back in come May.

Okay, so Roommate 5, house guests S and W, and I were drinking and playing card games last night. We were being loud. I admit this.

Quick interlude to explain the noise factor. After all the drama happened Roommate 3 comes into my room and tells me we were being loud. I wholeheartedly agreed, and told her she should not EVER hesitate to tell me, or anyone else in this house that we are being noisy. In fact, I think I've told everyone in the house this. I really do need to be put in my place or I'll just push boundaries.

You have to be responsible, and respect everyone else's wishes when they ask you. Unfortunately in this instance we really were being too loud. But anyway you have to tell someone to straighten up if you think they need to smarten the hell up.

But whatever you do, don't, I repeat, don't, burst all at once in a big cloud of rage.

Now for the meat of the story. The Explosion.

Roommate #1 walks in with her jackass boyfriend at about 9:00-9:30. Nobody cares, we're drinking. She tells us to quiet down, which as I recall we did. We turned it down from eleven to like eight. W says something along the lines of "We're drinking here!" and #1 replies "I'll throw out of the house if you don't shut up." and she leaves and goes to her room, which is right underneath the kitchen we were drinking in. So we keep drinking, thinking we've toned it down.

Roughly around 10:30, her boyfriend, 'N' comes up and says "Girl One has to work at four in the morning. So quiet it down"

W, who is a large man says, "Don't worry about it, we'll be out soon."

"She has earplugs in and can still hear you. So no, you'll be out like now, don't even flex at me"

The look of astonishment on W's face was priceless. Like this guy was going to throw down over some noise. W replies "Ha Ha, whatever we're out of here." And gets up and goes towards the door.

We have a brief discussion about where we could move the party to, and just as a decision is being reached...

Roommate 1 bursts into the room

She's in tears and says "I've taken two Gravol and I have earplugs in, and I can still hear you!" Then she looked at Cale and said, "Don't even smile at me, you're a waste of a man, you can't even give your girlfriend what she wants."

She turned her head and glared at me, "And you get drunk all the time, and you're always too loud."

Fact: I drink all the time. But I'm not drunk all the time.

Fact: Tell me to be quiet, And I will. That's the rule. I understand it.

She also turned around and threatened to throw W out of the house again, just for good measure I guess. He was actually putting his shoes on right by the exit at the time.

So I just smiled at her and giggled.

Then she launches into a huge tirade about how noisy the house is all the time and how she can never sleep.
"If you don't quiet down," she said menacingly "I'm seriously going to call the cops."

I couldn't take it anymore. Opened my mouth and started to argue with her.

Me: Listen #1...

#1: Don't even talk to me! You're drunk!

Me: Don't you know alcohol makes people more truthful? This is a great time for me to talk to you!

#1: ...

Me: Why don't you just tell us to quiet down if it's so noisy all the time? We're all adults, and you pay rent here. That's your TV too over there. Just turn it down if it's too loud.

#1: I shouldn't have to!

Me: How do I know if I'm being too noisy? I think that most times I'm pretty quiet. I don't turn the TV or my music on loud. I can remember only once when you told me to quiet down. And then I did. Do that more often if it's such a big issue.

#1: But I shouldn't have to!!!

Me: And if it's so noisy in your room, why don't you move to another room? I believe that one is opening up at the of the hall at the start of May when Roommate #3 moves out. It's much quieter there than your current room.

W then told me to quit arguing. Good idea. I'm an excellent debater and can go for hours, especially when I'm drinking. There was lots more dialogue, but I remember those ones because they were legitimately good arguments.

Then the whole house silent. Under the cruel unblinking eyes of #1 we silently picked up our cards, put away the empties, wiped the off the table and went to bed. Behind me as I was departing for my room Roommates #2 and #4 came out and started telling off #1. #1 had dragged in all the other housemates who weren't present during her tirade, and they were not pleased.
She even said that girl #3 (who wanted to watch America's Next Top Model) was too afraid of us to tell us to be quiet. I don't think she was, I think she was just more pissed off that we were being noisy and couldn't watch it on the big screen TV. Instead she watched it on the little set downstairs. Something I've done as well when things are too noisy.

After the argument I typed this out:

Another thing that camne up was my painintg. I like to paint. It's something I do as a hoppy for shits and giggles. #1 compained about how my painitning took up half the table when I did it. This was seriusly the first time I had hheard about it. This past week, I left iut up because I meant to get to it. But I didn't. I knew it was a problem. I really did.

But am I really? I'm less than a year older than her. She's nnto exactly a world traveller, she's not even that prolific in the community. Hell, I'm entered into a an art contest , I'm courting lasses, and I'm into communiyty events outside of the the tightly controlled a dance arts community.

That's not even coherent. Hopefully my arguing made more sense than that. I'm not courting any lasses, and I'm not entered into an art contest. Apparently I get delusions of grandeur when I'm drinking.

Anyway, I haven't seen her since, and I'm really dreading it. Well, maybe not dreading, but I know it'll be awkward. I plan on saying something like this:

"I want you to know you can talk to me and boss me around. That's what good roommates do."

That should do the trick! Then everything will be better, and I can go right on being obnoxious and noisy. I think I'll buy a drum kit to play outside of her room.

I'm contemplating moving out now, but rent is so cheap where I'm at right now! One the one hand, I'll have to continue living with a horrible bitch and her lame boyfriend (who doesn't pay rent but basically lives with us. He takes up fridge space, which angers me).
But on the other hand, as I mentioned before rent is cheap. That dude S will be moving in too, and we're pretty much destined to be best friends. I know this because when I walked into the house yesterday I happened to be wearing my Darth Vader shirt. When he turned around and was also wearing a Star Wars shirt. So obviously we HAVE to be buddies.

Maybe she'll move out and solve the problem for me, that's really the best case scenario. Especially since her jackass boyfriend likes to talk about how much money he has and what houses he's planning on buying.

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. Next entry will be shorter, less about drama, and more about the awesome things that I do.