Review: White Out

Last night involved the viewing of Whiteout, directed by Dominic Sena, and starring Kate Beckinsale.

It's a thriller set in Antarctica, where bodies start turning up after the discovery of a downed Russian freight plane. Kate Beckinsale, the science station's Marshall, starts poking around and soon she's getting chased by an ice-pick wielding maniac.

I'll make like a pencil and get to the point, this movie was awful. True cinematic trash. It was a piece of garbage from the opening scene right til' the end.

This isn't even worth downloading off the internet for free. In fact, I think Warner Brothers should pay you to watch this movie. I can't do justice to how terrible this movie is without you having seen it, but I should shame myself for even giving you even the slightest modicum of suggestion that this might worth your time. It's just awful, and stands testament to exactly why I don't watch suspense or horror movies.

It's not because I can't handle them and I don't like being scared, it's because most of the time they're terrible, filled with plot holes, and the characters do things that a normal person would simply never even consider doing. I know it's a movie, I know there's supposed to suspension of disbelief, but there's a threshold.

My rating for White Out is:

1/10

It gains half a point for having one scene where I was actually into the action of Beckinsale running from the murderer; and another for breaking the stereotype of suspense cinema when the film's only black man not didn't die first. Way to push boundaries!

As a side note, the best part of the movie was when Beckinsale revealed that she came to the South Pole to get away from the stress of her LA cop lifestyle, and I looked at everyone who was watching the movie and said:

"I guess she needed some time to...cool down!"