The Case of Missing Eyebrow

A mystery is afoot, and I have a feeling some supernatural powers are involved.
It involves a night of heavy partying, and some fake eyebrows. Allow me to set the scene, and bear in mind that absolutely everything I state here is %100 true.

Two weeks ago I received a package at the office mailed to me by my brother and his wife. It was a late Christmas present, and amongst the various items that were in the package, came some fake facial hair. Everyone had a good chuckle as I paraded about the station wearing a fine moustache and soul-patch.


That very evening there happened to be a party I was invited to. We all agreed I'd be the life of the party if I were to wear some of my fake hair. A chance to put the spotlight on myself? Great! I heartily agreed, and tucked the phony eyebrows away in my wallet for later.

This is where the story gets a little hazy as I had worked my way through (I'm told) at least two thirds of a 26oz bottle of Wiser's Canadian Rye, my hard liquor of choice that night as it were. At one point, I slapped on my eyebrows and it was time for photos!

This is the last time I saw my eyebrows together.

One wanted to fall off, but we quickly rectified the situation with some tape. After we'd had our a giggles over my bushy brows, it was time to go home. A friend offered to me home, so I agreed and left the party. I immediately face-planted on the stairs when I went inside, and set about trying to make egg-salad sammiches, but quit after cracking half a dozen eggs and went to bed.

Flash forward to six days later, and I arrive at my office and find one of my wayward eyebrows lying on my desk. I hadn't given them any thought since the weekend, and assumed that I'd given them the toss the night of the party. I picked it up, put it on the caricature of myself I have on the wall, and thought nothing else of it. I assumed that one of my two coworkers who were at the big shaker had found it and brought it home to me.


But (this is where things get weird) neither of them professed to knowing anything about it. One girl, whose sister hosted the party, said that she'd found one of my eyebrows at her house. Yesterday I was informed that that particular eyebrow is still there, so that accounts for the other brow.

The other lass whose boyfriend was the one that drove me home said she didn't bring the eyebrow in either, and neither of them were in her boyfriend's truck.

Who could have brought my eyebrow back? My office building has a security code, so nobody can get in who doesn't know the password. Someone suggested that perhaps the eyebrow had been stuck to my jacket and fell off the night before. But the adhesive on the back was barely sticky, and the odds that it would have been stuck to my jacket for 6 days before falling off are pretty darn slim.

I for one like to imagine that the eyebrow is actually alive, and over six days after having been abandoned outside, it inched its way home like a caterpillar. How it got in the building is beyond me, but hey, its a magic eyebrow. Who knows what it can do?