Auctioning off Art

This past Friday night was the Rotary Club Scarecrow Auction, in which my Dark Crusader was sold off to the highest bidder.

Don't worry, that clown is not actually my Crusader

I was in it to win some kind of glory, but unfortunately my Crusader didn't win any ribbons. I was a little miffed at first, but after seeing some of the other winners, and the quality of the competition I was up against, I didn't envy the judges who had to pick the winners.

The best part was the live auction. It's a good thing I didn't have a bidding number because I probably would have dropped several hundred dollars on a scarecrow. Auctions just get me all worked up like that. Also, there was a steak dinner and I sat at the table with all the good-looking women.

My Crusader wasn't in the live auction though, which was disappointing, but it was however in the 'Blind Box.' You just wrote an amount down you wanted to buy it for and hoped it was enough. I haven't found out how much mine sold for, but I'll be posting an updated once I find out.

I didn't get any ribbons or anything, but that's okay. People were fairly impressed with the scarecrow. The only thing that really ground my gears was that my scarecrow lost to Micheal Jackson. Of the celebrities to lose to, I lost to MJ? F that! Plus, there were three Micheal Jacksons there, which is bunk.

This is the one I lost to. Jerk. At least they got his sticky-esque body proportions right.

This is a pair of headless horsemen. The one that actually has a horse got first place and sold for $700 I think. You can't really tell in this photo, but it looked more like the horseman was doing illegal things to his steed rather than riding on it.

This was a cool Greek mythology shout-out, except I wasn't aware that Dionysus only had one arm. Oh snap.

I present: The most startled looking woman ever.

Big points for accessorization

Look how casual this Scare'Crow' is! I should have taken pictures of his feet, because they were the coolest part of all.

Note to buyer: Receive a free tent and firewood with purchase of scarecrow.

This is a very realistic representation of the local rodeo queens. It's actually a prerequisite for queen contestants to have freakishly long necks.

I may have hated Pierce Brosnan as Bond, but I love Pierce Brosnan as James Bond as a scarecrow. Winning combo!


Apparently that particular mask is the most terrifying of all faces that could be found. Because, as we all know, hideous housewives, whose hairstylist must work for Carrot Top, dolled up like clowns give people nightmares.

Here's a photo of mine compared to another radio local station.

That's supposed to be Lady Gaga. It's very realistic, especially with her ass put in the front of her pants like that. The awkward ass-crotch hand grab is one of Lady Gaga's lesser known dance moves.