Is That Your Final Answer? Part 1

In my last post I detailed the conflict of interests I had regarding me attending a charity art auction.
I had one of three decisions:

A) Go to the art auction and support the homeless

B) Go watch the UFC fights

C) Split my time between both evenly

I decided I would split my time evenly. It was fair to the homeless, and while I wouldn't stay for the entire auction, I'd at least be there for the important part, the silent auction. Following that I'd be able to catch the two big fights of the night with no trouble.

But little did I know, there was a secret option

D) Have my car break down and spend the whole day dealing with an old Jalopy with no brakes, no future, and no scrap yards open to ditch my car in.

Option D is my final answer Regis!


My old beater, a 91' Buick Century, finally received its mortal death wound. And the reason it was injured isn't even that good of a story. It actually kind of infuriated me.

This isn't my actual car, photo for reference purposes only

So after work on Friday I go and pick up a buddy so we can go see Terminator: Salvation. Then from his house we go to another dude's place to pick him up too.
As we're pulling up to his house, my friend says,
“Do a wicked Horatio Caine U-Turn!”
And I say,
“Yeah!”
Here's what the U-turn should have looked like:



Here's a diagram of what my U-turn looked like, going along at roughly 20kmh.


I don't think it actually needed that extra loop on my 'predicted path,' I just though it looked cool. But anyway, my Grandmother could have pulled a more badass turn than me.

So anyway, it soon becomes apparent that something is wrong with car, as my brakes, which are usually as soft as a baby's bottom anyway, are suddenly like Jello and getting worse by the second. We manage to cruise to our final destination without killing anyone and park my car.
Our host was gracious enough to drive us to Terminator, although after seeing it I wish I'd have stayed at home.

The movie sucked. It sucked so bad a small black hole was created in the projector. This made me angry, not just because the movie was so awful, but also because I wrecked my car going to it.

So the next day (Saturday) I get my ride towed to a nearby Midas, where half an hour later they tell me the news.
My car's brake line had rusted through, and the fuel lines next to it were just as bad. To replace the brake line would break the fuel lines, meaning they'd have to be replaced too.
This fact combining with many other factors meant that my car was worthless. I signed it over to the shop, took my cassette tape from the deck, and never looked back.
So now I'm car hunting, and have things narrowed down to two definite choices.

A 94' Mercury Grand Marquis

or a 2000 Dodge Neon.

The Marquis is exactly the kind of car I like to drive, a big 4-door sedan with a V8 engine that could haul some serious ass, and it's in pristine condition. Not a spot of rust on it! They're asking $2,500, which is reasonable I figure. I can't find the black-book value on it though, so I'll have to do some research.

As for the Neon, it's also in great condition, there's a spot of rust under the driver-side door handle, but that's no biggie. It's the more sane decision, and while it isn't as big or sturdy a vehicle as I would like, it'll be more than adequate for driving around town. I have yet to test drive it on the highway though, so that could make or break the ride.

More updates later this week!