I Knew I Could be a Good Person!

So yesterday this asian guy comes to my front door trying to get me to sign up for some 'Save the Poor Children of the World' thing. I'd rather spend my monies on the 'Save the Poor Jake Hammells of the World' instead, so I declined.
Plus I want to go Europe and get drunk with some German girls at Oktoberfest, and that's expensive. I'm quite certain the poor and destitute children of Ethiopia would understand.


The guy was a poor salesman as well, his whole pitch was basically "Wanna donate to this cause? I only dropped its name once so you probably won't remember it later."
To which I replied "Na, I don't want to do that."
He said "Are you sure? It's cheap, and there's no commitment"
"Nope, sorry dude. You won't guilt me into saving children with five easy payments of my pocket change."
"Come on man. Save the children."
"What about my children?"
"You have kids?"
"Yeah." Then I raised my fists and said "Good old Barnes and Nobles here!"

And I beat him mercilessly.

Just kidding!

The Asian guy probably knew martial arts so I didn't screw around. In fact, this may be hard to believe, but I made up and dramatized most of that conversation. After I completely shot him and poor people down, I shook his hand and wished him luck. He spun around just before I closed the door and said,

"Hey man, do you have some gloves or something I could buy? My hands are freezing!"

They certainly were freezing. The things were purple! Now, I may not be good at saving starving kids in Africa, but I am good at dressing people for winter weather! So I said,

"Hoo-ey! Git' on in hurr boy!" and went to fetch him my spare pair of winter gloves. I know have a nice pair of leather ones somewhere (they're lost in my bedroom, work office, or car) so I didn't mind giving him my shitty ten dollar ones. I had already splooged all over them anyway so they were a little crusty.

Just kidding!

I didn't spunk on them, but I did give the poor fella some gloves. He was seriously underdressed for winter (even though it was only like -8, what a wuss). I was glowing inside for at least an hour, but then I remembered that I had lost my nice leather gloves and that's why I had my crappy ones close by. I know the leather ones are around, but I don't know where. And it's not springtime in Alberta anymore, so I actually needed those gloves.

I really should have taken money for ones I gave away instead of being a nice guy. Oh well, chances are I would lose those gloves before next winter anyway.
So I just wanted to share with all of you that I'm not such a horrible person after all. Every now and then I do nice things for people. Now I want all of you who read this to tell me about a good deed you've done recently for a stranger. Maybe we can start a pay it forward thing!

That includes stabbing Haley Joel Osment like at the end of Pay it Forward.